**laugh, laugh**

…but all he had were…

and you stop. nothing.

there is no word there.

it’s not on your tongue,

not on the tip or

hiding underneath,

and you haven’t swallowed it.

it never came out of your head.

you look at your sister as if it might be

on her face

no, it’s not there, stupid woman

it’s still in your head!

look there!

and you do

but it’s not

there, that is.

your head is blank

it’s like a black balloon on the inside,

just some air and black

and expanding

but you need that word.

now!

right now!

where is it?

what is it?

forks? pictures? apples?

no… no… no…

your hands are fisted

and you can feel

how red your face is getting

you cast your eyes

here and there

hither and yon

and shake your hands

loosely

the word is right there!

WHERE?!
THERE!

NO!

WHAT. IS. THE. WORD?

and the black balloon of your mind

expands

more and more

until you feel that it must be

as big as the universe

and as empty

as your Ben & Jerry’s ice cream container

at the end of the movie

you KNOW the word.

you DO.

WHAT is it?

your sister starts to prompt, now

apples? bananas?

pineapples? kiwis?

no…

no, no…

uhm… cherries?

no… o

oh! oh!

oranges!

but all he had were oranges and I wanted lemons, so I

didn’t buy anything.

**laugh, laugh**

jee6/2017