**laugh, laugh**
…but all he had were…
and you stop. nothing.
there is no word there.
it’s not on your tongue,
not on the tip or
hiding underneath,
and you haven’t swallowed it.
it never came out of your head.
you look at your sister as if it might be
on her face
no, it’s not there, stupid woman
it’s still in your head!
look there!
and you do
but it’s not
there, that is.
your head is blank
it’s like a black balloon on the inside,
just some air and black
and expanding
but you need that word.
now!
right now!
where is it?
what is it?
forks? pictures? apples?
no… no… no…
your hands are fisted
and you can feel
how red your face is getting
you cast your eyes
here and there
hither and yon
and shake your hands
loosely
the word is right there!
WHERE?!
THERE!
NO!
WHAT. IS. THE. WORD?
and the black balloon of your mind
expands
more and more
until you feel that it must be
as big as the universe
and as empty
as your Ben & Jerry’s ice cream container
at the end of the movie
you KNOW the word.
you DO.
WHAT is it?
your sister starts to prompt, now
apples? bananas?
pineapples? kiwis?
no…
no, no…
uhm… cherries?
no… o
oh! oh!
oranges!
but all he had were oranges and I wanted lemons, so I
didn’t buy anything.
**laugh, laugh**
jee6/2017