“Just take a couple of Tylenol”

sorry, i can’t go today, i have a migraine

“Just take a couple of Tylenol,  you’ll be fine in a bit.”

no, not a headache, a migraine, tylenol won’t help with this

“Why do you always have to cancel out of our plans because of a headache? We’ve been planning on going to this since last month and now you have a headache. Just take something for it and let’s get going.”

no, I don’t have anything i can take for this, nothing helps it, i have to go lay down in a dark room and stay still and quiet for the rest of the day, sorry

“You’re always sorry, but that doesn’t help. Now I’ll have to see if I can find someone else to go with me or I’ll have to go by myself. Thanks! Well, you have a grand old time with your headache, you and your dark room!”

yes, it’s a lot of fun lying here in my dark room with my head pounding away like a balloon that’s too big to fit inside trying to get out, and my stomach trying to come back up my throat, and chills that are so cold that even the heat of this summer day can’t reach me and my bones ache

i lay as still as i can so that the dizziness doesn’t take over and make my whole world spin until all i can see is gray

i try to drift into sleep and hope that the doorbell doesn’t ring or my phone doesn’t buzz or i don’t get any texts, it would be painful to hear the sound and too much effort to answer the call of the outside world, my world has shrunk to just me and my pain under the cocoon i have created with the duvet, my cat curled at my side adding her heat to my tiny space and keeping the frost away

i have found a status quo that seems almost bearable as long as no one disturbs it, fragile as a snowflake before sunrise on a windowpane, where the slightest change will tip the scales of my equilibrium

jee 9.2018



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